27 June 2006

Bill Hicks and the flag

I had thought the talk of a flag-burning amendment was killed by the United States v. Eichman decision back in 1990, but it's back again.  One of my heroes recently testified against the amendment, pointing out that it's illogical to restrict freedom for the sake of a symbol of freedom.  The issue always reminds me of a Bill Hicks bit:

"Hey buddy, my daddy died for that flag."

"Really?  I bought mine.  Yeah, they sell 'em at K-Mart."

"He died in Korea!"

"Wow, what a coincidence.  Mine was made in Korea."

No one—and I repeat, no one—has ever died for a flag.  See, a flag is just a piece of cloth.  They may have died for freedom, which is also the freedom to burn the f*ckin' flag.

While I'm at it, here are some more great Bill Hicks quotes:

You ever notice how people who believe in creationism look really unevolved?

A lot of Christians wear crosses around their necks.  You think when Jesus comes back, he ever wants to see a f*cking cross?  Kind of like going up to Jackie Onassis with a rifle pendant on.  "Just thinkin' o' John, Jackie, thinkin' o' John."

People say, "Bill, quit talking about Kennedy, man.  It was a long time ago.  Just let it go, all right?  It's a long time ago, just forget it."  I'm like, all right, then don't bring up Jesus to me.  As long as we're talking shelf life here . . .

They lie about marijuana.  Tell you pot-smoking makes you unmotivated.  Lie!  When you're high, you can do everything you normally do just as well . . . you just realize that it's not worth the f*ckin' effort.

[after a Catholic joke] I'm sorry if anyone here is Catholic.  I'm not sorry if you are offended, I'm actually sorry—just the fact that you're Catholic.  Gotta be one of the most ludicrous beliefs ever.  Like these vampire priests sink their twin fangs of guilt and sin into you as a child and suck your joy of life out of you the rest of your existence.


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