10 October 2006

We're ready for bomb threats

A WUPD officer recently came into my lab to hand out little security advisories printed on bright orange paper.  I, half-seriously, mentioned that we used to have a Bomb Threat Checklist tucked under our phone which had since been lost.  He took me very seriously and promised to come back with a replacement BTC.  One of my officemates was impressed with my straight face.  Sure enough, he returned days later with a pristine BTC and a sincere sense of accomplishment.  Now, for your enjoyment, excerpts from the Bomb Threat Checklist:

Exact time of call?
Exact words of caller?

QUESTIONS TO ASK [presumably precisely in this order]
1. When is bomb going to explode?
2. Where is the bomb?
3. What does it look like?
4. What kind of bomb is it?
5. What will cause it to explode?
6. Did you place the bomb?
7. Why?
8. Where are you calling from?
9. What is your address?
10. What is your phone number?
11. What is your name?

CALLER'S VOICE (circle)
Calm
Stutter
Laughter
Disguised
Deep
Accent
Sincere
Loud
Lisp
Squeaky
Slurred
Excited
Normal
Cracking Voice
Clearing Throat
Deep Breathing
Normal [yep, listed twice]
Distinct
Raspy
Familiar [my favorite]

If voice is familiar, whom did it sound like?

BACKGROUND SOUNDS
Street noises
Crockery
PA System
House noises
Factory machinery
Animal noises
Long distance
Booth

THREAT LANGUAGE
Well spoken (educated)
Foul
Irrational
Incoherent
Taped
Message Read by threatmaker

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home